"No Sleep and Nightmares"

Very little sleep last night. The sleep we did have was filled with nightmares. This morning we feel tired, worn out.

We are gearing up to go to the grocery store. Going out is always a battle. Have you ever had to make a decision, and one part of you believes the decision you have made is a good one, a healthy one? Then suddenly you have this "gut" feeling, that perhaps you made the wrong decision? Well, take that "gut" feeling, and multiply it by many. That is what we feel every single day. Learning to "trust" our decisions, even the very small ones, is so very difficult. We have, not just one voice, but many, to consider. We must find that "middle of the road" to satisfy everyone. Once a decision is agreed upon, the physical action of proceeding is put off, for fear it still may be the wrong decision. If this all sounds confusing to you, imagine, if you can, the turmoil we feel inside.

Agoraphobia reigns this morning. Just the thought of entering the Grocery Store is so frightening! All those strangers! Even though we have a list of what we need, we know we will come home with items we don't need and items we have no memory of buying.

We will let you know the outcome of today's "outing".

"us"

P.S. - we survived our outing. we ignored the "stares", imagined or not. we sort of kept to the store note we took with us.....but where did those cookies come from?

"The truth about our childhood is stored up in our body and although we repress it, we can never alter it. Our intellect can be deceived, our feelings manipulated. our perceptions confused and our body tricked with medication. But someday the body will present its bill, for it is as incorruptible as a child who, still whole in spirit, will accept no compromises or excuses, and it will not stop tormenting us until we stop evading the truth".