Didn't even make it to "T" today...think it may be the first session missed in a year of weekly sessions. Another horrible Headache. Coincidence....that we get a Migraine on the day of "T"......when I have had none for almost a week? Doubtful, that it is. Probably FEAR of what is going to be revealed, what needs to be revealed! Awoke, crying this morning, very very early. Could not go back to sleep. Have no idea why the crying..... Feel very lonely, sad, like life is over.....nothing to look forward to but the same thing day after bleak day. Did not plan to end up this way! Wanted a good and happy adult life...but just never got there. Don't deserve this! Never hurt anyone. Not our fault....things that happened to us. Keep saying that....but do we believe it? Don't know. Feelings of guilt pin us down, keep us down, keep us inside, keep us from everyone. Hate being looked at, stared at, like a freak! Feel like falling through the air, unable to stop........
Crayons and coloring....will that help? Not now...maybe later, though. Really feel unreal, far away and sick at tummy.
"us"
"The truth about our childhood is stored up in our body and although we repress it, we can never alter it. Our intellect can be deceived, our feelings manipulated. our perceptions confused and our body tricked with medication. But someday the body will present its bill, for it is as incorruptible as a child who, still whole in spirit, will accept no compromises or excuses, and it will not stop tormenting us until we stop evading the truth".
6 comments:
Precious 'us'
At the beginning of my t sessions I too suffered with headaches and migrains. The pain in my head is not as bad as it once was, probably because I am concentrating more on the emotional pain. Do not discount the migrain being related to going to t. Probably does have a lot to do with the 'fear.' Hell, I hate to find out the things I have to in order to heal and I get all tensed up all over in my mind which can lead to headaches. I hurt with you dear ones and only pray next week will be easer for you all.
Blessings and ((((safe hugs))))
I love you all and my heart goes out to all of you. Would you please stop my blog. I have something special just for you.
I love you all and give big HUGS to each and every one of you.
definitely sounds like going to therapy may have presented as scary and stressful for some of you. sometimes before it's time for me to to to a session i go completely blank and feel like i'll have nothing to say and can't remember anything that has happened lately. it's not as extreme or certainly painful as your situation, but i think it might be our minds trying to protect us from the feelings we might encounter going in and talking about difficult things, a reaction to that fear to shut down and put up barriers. healing can be stressful, which can be confusing. i think, aren't i supposed to be feeling better? even when making progress. i find comfort in the idea that it may get worse before it gets better and that sometimes the healing itself can be painful. maybe this is a sign that you are working on some important, deep, core issues. i hope you are all feeling better today~ ((safe hugs))
you are so right....healing is painful...avoidance steps in and messes everything up! we know that something, some difficult memory is ready to surface...and we are terrified! we had little sleep last night and are feeling detached today....but scared...... Hugs to you MM!
JBR - dear heart...ty...letting us know that healing does involve headaches and other physical ailments helps us so much....gives us some understanding of why we feel so sick so much....hv to get to the core of all of this...safe hugs to you, sweetheart.
you are a good person and you did nothing to deserve the pain in which you are enduring. God does have a plan for you. You are loved.
Post a Comment