"SISTERS"

Why would two Sisters, who had both gone through horrific abuse together, grow so far apart?

This is a question we ask ourselves so many times. Our Sister wants no relationship with us. She never calls us, or returns calls we make. We don't understand. We want nothing more than to be friends and Sisters, and to be close. As we have mentioned before, we live a six hour drive away from our family. We do all the visiting. It has always been that way. Through the years, even though we had flight benefits at work, we chose to spend nearly all our vacation time visiting our family. We could have traveled the world, yet we chose to spend our free time with our family. Why? Is it out of some obligation we feel? Could it be we feel guilty because we left home as soon as we graduated High School, leaving our Sister and Brother behind? Our Sister soon married after we left home and began having children. We loved her children and spoiled them with gifts....we still do. But the relationship between us and our Sister seems to have withered and died. We are close in age, 17 months apart. Yes, there were the usual Sister type arguments over clothes (they were scarce...the clothes...) and chores and things you think are important in your teen years. We are adults now. We no longer argue. We no longer talk about much of anything. When we visit home, we stay with Mother. Our Sister comes down and stays at the most 30 minutes, then she is gone. She never invites us up to her house, just us, without Mother. We have learned in "T" that we took the brunt of the abuse. We protected our Sister and Brother whenever possible, even taking their place so they would not be abused. Why does my Sister dislike me? You can not imagine how very much this hurts! Today, a Holiday, we waited, hoping she would call. She did not. We called Mother and during the conversation we asked if our Sister had mentioned us, asked what we were doing for the Holiday. Mother answered no....she had not even asked about us. We were so upset, we had to end the conversation. We were in tears. We know that our Sister is doing the very best she can, handling what the abuse did to her life. We accept that she did not choose "T", she did not work on her issues. She turned to drinking to ease her pain. We have tried, many times, to develop a relationship with her, but are always pushed away.

Why do we feel so sad and unloved when someone turns away from us? We know that there is nothing more we can do and we must accept we will never have a relationship with our Sister. Why is life so difficult? Why do we feel we have done something wrong, that we are disgusting and unlovable? Why doesn't our Sister love us?

"us"


"The truth about our childhood is stored up in our body and although we repress it, we can never alter it. Our intellect can be deceived, our feelings manipulated. our perceptions confused and our body tricked with medication. But someday the body will present its bill, for it is as incorruptible as a child who, still whole in spirit, will accept no compromises or excuses, and it will not stop tormenting us until we stop evading the truth".