"Am I Driving Everyone Away?"

I arrived today to see Doc, in an angry mood. But within minutes I was crying. I feel as if I am driving everyone away! My DIL, then my SIL, my friends do not call as often as they once did. I feel so alone..all the time. I've set my boundaries, at least I think I have set the proper boundaries. So is that why? Because they liked us better with no boundaries, vulnerable, manipulated and blamed? I have always felt "different", that I never belonged, sometimes even invisible. Years later, I stay isolated....is that to keep myself safe, from further harm? Or is it because I feel that I will not be accepted anyway, so why bother? We don't like people looking at us. We feel judged. We feel ugly. We feel worthless. I can not remember a thing about "T" today...not one thing except crying and feeling lonely and sad. What words from Doc am I missing? I feel very confused and blank.
Nothing more to write because I don't know anything..........


"The truth about our childhood is stored up in our body and although we repress it, we can never alter it. Our intellect can be deceived, our feelings manipulated. our perceptions confused and our body tricked with medication. But someday the body will present its bill, for it is as incorruptible as a child who, still whole in spirit, will accept no compromises or excuses, and it will not stop tormenting us until we stop evading the truth".