ANNOUNCING NEW BLOG
14 years ago
Wednesday, June 3, 2009
"Spacing in and Spacing out"
Don't know if "spacing" is the correct description of what has been happening to us the past 2 days. We will ask Doc tomorrow. Let me see if we can just list the strange things that have happened:
Feels like in a Fog
Forget what we were just about to do
Not finishing anything we started
Hearing just bits and pieces of conversation (applies to phone calls as well)
Noises are so irritating....grrrrrrrrrrr
Thoughts come into head....that are normally things we never think about
Feeling younger, much younger
Feeling older
Laughing inappropriately
Discover we are crying
Feeling intruded upon
Not being able to find things around the house
Some vision changes....like can read, then can't see, to read
Want to scream when phone rings
Unable to concentrate
Some spurts of Euphoria
Unable to ..... damn it....lost entire train of thoughts
"us"
"The truth about our childhood is stored up in our body and although we repress it, we can never alter it. Our intellect can be deceived, our feelings manipulated. our perceptions confused and our body tricked with medication. But someday the body will present its bill, for it is as incorruptible as a child who, still whole in spirit, will accept no compromises or excuses, and it will not stop tormenting us until we stop evading the truth".
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10 comments:
My dear one, I can relate to some of the items you listed here, the foggyness, the sudden burst of laughter, mood swings, the irratation. I believe a lot of mine has to do with my present journey, and what I am going through. I am so very sorry that you are struggling with all that you listed. I am sure it is not very fun at all and tiresome both phyiscally and mentally. I know it can wear me out....
((((Safe comfort))))
Sitting as always dear listening....
ok stating the obvious but.somethings triggered some dissociation, any dates you arent aware of ?
I'm with you in whatever 'space' you happen to be in at any given moment.....whether it is 'in' or 'out' or even 'in between'.
I am so grateful that the pronoun 'YOU' is the same whether it is singular or plural. You are you - one or many.
Prayers from me to 'you'!!!
Prayer Girl
i agree with jumpinginpuddles, it sounds like some dissociation is going on. a lot of switching going on? i wonder if all the headaches and difficulties you have had these past weeks were leading up to the experience you had the other night, which sounded to me like a memory flashback, so vivid and paralyzing. and now maybe you are processing that experience which might be involving more than one alter. sounds like a lot is going on. this is just my instinctual response. i hope you are all ok and that you aren't in pain. ((safe hugs))
JIP - just got back from therapy...and you were right on the mark....the dissociation is becoming worse...or we are just becoming more aware of it...no dates...just my "others" are feeling more safe...and are coming out more often...this progress is good, but throwing me into turmoil....don't know how long you have been aware that you are a multiple...but for us...about 9 months..lots of work ahead...ty so much for sharing with "us" all of you hv no idea how good that feels.
JBR - found out from Doc today...this is actually progress...it may not feel so good and it scares us...but we are becoming stronger as a "unit"...safe hugs!
MM - you are also right on the mark...and yes this new progress is causing turmoil....and our awareness of our "others" has been about 9 months also....ty for sharing that you are also a multiple...did not know that..
PG - ty to both you and to your Steve...know we are confusing at times...we confuse ourselves too...ty for being there for "us"
I am glad for you this means a progress!
It sounds really familiar to me (not all the time) the turmoil you are experiencing today. I am not a multiple and fortunately I was never a victim of child abuse, it just has an other cause and can be very irritating.
For me it sometimes help to let go, I mean trying not to hard to fight the foginess, drink coffee and have little breaks and hoping tomorrow will be better. Maybe you have to try what works for you. I am not minimizing your feelings dear Us, just reaching out to you all!
Safe hugs,
Barbra
MM got your 2nd msg....ty...sssssshhhhh
Barbra! so good to see you again! waiting on you blog...when you are ready.....safe hugs
**Puppy slithers in, on her belly, right quiet like, so as not to disturb her friend, whispers** I'm still here. Love you! **Gives her a hug and slithers back out** :)
hi all, i'm glad you got my second comment. but i just want to check to see what you mean by sssshhh. do you mean you'd prefer i not mention i'm not a multiple? or did you think i don't want anyone to know that about me? because i don't mind if people know that about me. i just wanted to be sure you knew especially because i want to be honest with you. i don't want to let you think i'm something i'm not. trust is hard enough to find these days :) ((safe hugs))
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