Hello my friends!Double Rainbow, taken last night, after a severe thunder storm....so beautiful!
We are still in America, awaiting news of the Visa. Missing my friend more, as each day goes by. He will be visiting and meeting my family in just a few short weeks! Hopefully, I will have my Visa and can return with him to England.
Mixed feelings, as I visit with my family. Attempting to put aside old "hurts" and embrace my family and accept them for who they are, just as I wish to be accepted. Visiting my Sister today. Wish I could say things are better between us, but she is still very distant and does not appear to want a relationship with me. But I have finally accepted that and can live with it. She has handled the "abuse" in her own way and I must respect her decision.
It is not easy, spending so much time in this small town. All the memories, bad, mostly, creep up on me, at times, but I have learned to keep them at bay. I walk.... a lot....and that helps ease my mind. I miss the Sea and the peace it affords me. In my walks, I have revisited the Haunted House, with it's dark windows, which appear to watch me as I walk by. I can not say it is an easy task, walking past that evil house, but it is something I feel I must do. To avoid it, would mean (to me) that it and my abuser still have a hold on me...and I will not tolerate such a horrible thought! I focus on my future, with a joy I have never known before!
My Muse seems to have disappeared! I can no longer write poetry. Perhaps the poetry was a "gift" to help me recover and has now moved on to another in need. I will attempt to write a book, about my life, I may fail miserably, but it's just another "thing" I feel I must do.
To all of you, thank you for staying in touch with me! It means so much to hear from you. I apologize that I no longer post on your blogs. I feel just terrible about it, and I have no excuse...please forgive me.
Miss and love you all!
