ALONE....AND LONELY

I miss my friend. I miss the laughter and joy he brought to my life. I miss the phone calls. He is gone, because of a misunderstanding. I have tried to resolve the situation, but he will not return my calls or Emails. Now I must find a way to "be" without him. The emptiness inside is more than painful, it is unbearable. He was a good friend. We formed a bond almost immediately. It takes so much for us to give our trust. We gave it to him, freely and without hesitation because both he and us felt a closeness, as if we had known each other all of our lives. So how does such a strong friendship just end so swiftly? This was not a romantic relationship....it was, well I thought it was, one of the best friendships I have ever experienced. As I said, I have tried to reach him, but I have given up. It seems everything I truly value in this life, is taken from me. No, I am not feeling sorry for us, but when does it stop? I don't know that I can take much more heart break.

My Criminal Trial is on Friday. I am nervous and scared. My Attorney seems to think I should take a plea of No Contest...which I do not understand why I should do that. Yes, it would all be over, I would not need to spend anymore money (which I don't have) going back and forth to court. But at the pre-trial, the Prosecuting Attorney and my Attorney both agreed, the charges were ridiculous and the police report was laughable. So why then, do I have to plead No Contest? I know that is not an admission of guilt..but damn it..I did not harm that man in any way! Oh and he is a real good actor in Court....that too is laughable. He is Mr. it'sallherfault in front of the Judge, but in the hall outside the Court Room, he is Mr. nice and passive....what a creep he is! What a FAKE! I dislike him intensely!!!!!

The family I am living with...well my friend was supposed to call him today to make arrangements to pick up Scarlett and more of my clothing, but she fell in the bathroom, injuring her arm and we were at the ER all day today. So I don't know if she will feel up to going over there. I pray she does, I miss my dog so much! I want to take her down by the river to the park and just hold her and love on her and play with her.

All for tonight. Again thanks to all of you for your support, prayers and love...you have no idea what that all means to us. We love you!

Sueann and "us"

"The truth about our childhood is stored up in our body and although we repress it, we can never alter it. Our intellect can be deceived, our feelings manipulated. our perceptions confused and our body tricked with medication. But someday the body will present its bill, for it is as incorruptible as a child who, still whole in spirit, will accept no compromises or excuses, and it will not stop tormenting us until we stop evading the truth".