The term “transference” refers to the patent’s experience of his or her moment-to-moment relationship with the therapist.Saw the Doc today, and well, he dropped a bomb shell just at the very end of our session. He began a conversation about boundaries and "transference". He barley had the word, "transference" out of is mouth, when hell broke loose with the "others". The emotions were varied, Fear, Blame (we "lean" towards blaming "ourselves" for EVERYTHING), Shame (but why), Distrust (that's not good between a patient and Doctor), Anger and Betrayal. We rushed out of the office, drove home, pissed as hell. So many voices talking all at once, some bitching about Doc, some wondering what they had done wrong, and some saying, well it was only a matter of time before Doc wanted rid of us. So when I arrived home, I called the office and left him a message that I thought it would be best for everyone, that I not see him for a couple of weeks. Then we went to bed with a gigantic headache and tears on our cheeks.
The above definition of "Transference" really does not fully explain what this means in the relationship of patient and Doctor. Okay, here is my own perception. I was in crisis when I met Doc. We were depressed and anxiety ridden. Countless thoughts raced through our brain at night, keeping us from getting any sleep. After a couple of months in treatment, seeing Doc, we began to feel comfortable, let our guard down, a bit. We found him to be extremely intelligent, kind, warm, in attunement with our needs, plus he has this corny sense of humor...he is a wonderful Therapist. <--------- See all of these incredible things I have said about Doc? All of it could be mis-construed as "transference". In other words, the Doc may hear me say...I look forward to seeing you every week.....but in his head he could be thinking.....this patient is becoming emotionally dependent upon me and I have to nip it in the bud now. If the Dr. is getting this vibe (and I am not infering Doc is), then by all means, he and the patient must set rules and have a conversation about "transference". But, hey, not at the very end of the session, with no time to process any of it! That's...excuse me...Bullshit!
What also exists is "counter-transference". Ah ha! Therapy, when you and the Dr. have a good emotionally working relationship, is a blessing and will eventually help to heal the wounds. I consider Doc a friend, not a social friend, but a friend. Something you may not know about patients in therapy. They have questions. Is Doc married? Does he have a significant Other? Does he lead a happy life? I have been in and out of Therapy for many years, and I know there is a non-verbalized rule....You do not ask your Therapist personal questions! However, if your Therapist volunteers bits and pieces of their private life to you, then you may be looking at "counter-transference". If the patient is having any transference issues not yet known to the Dr., these tiny bits and pieces can potentially be devastating, and ruin the relationship between the two. But I ask you, is it possible to be treated by a Therapist for long period of time and NOT have these types of questions? I say, hell no! It's only human nature to want to know something about the person you spend an hour a week with, the person to whom you spill all your stuff. It's seems a little unfair.....doesn't it? Well, slap yourself on the head if you said yes, it is unfair! "WE" came to this man for help. He is helping "us" rebuild our life and become as one. "WE" are not an easy group! "WE" have no business wanting to know anything about his personal life. "Transference is not easy to understand. You should hear Freud's definition....yowza! There are many takes on "transference" even in the Mental Health World. I guess the way to explain how I feel about it, is this........."No we are NOT going to have sex, but yes, I care about you a great deal." The connection between Dr. and patient must be nourished, or it will wither and die, a painful and sad death.
Peace!
Susannah~~~~
"The truth about our childhood is stored up in our body and although we repress it, we can never alter it. Our intellect can be deceived, our feelings manipulated. our perceptions confused and our body tricked with medication. But someday the body will present its bill, for it is as incorruptible as a child who, still whole in spirit, will accept no compromises or excuses, and it will not stop tormenting us until we stop evading the truth".
