Just have not felt good since "T" last week. Still no energy, still depressed and tummy sick. Don't feel like eating. What is it about emotions, which suddenly rise up from the past? Crying should be cleansing..right? Not so for us. Everyday is a struggle to just "be". Put on one mask for company, another for the husband, yet another to go out in public...so tired of it all. Feel like giving up...just leave everything in the past...tired of working so hard, just to feel so bad. Want to sleep and sleep and sleep. Mother called this morning. Complain, complain, complain....tired of being the "sounding board" for her. Yet, feel sorry for her too. Now head aches so much. Can't deal with this. Always put into situations, no forced into situations that are so difficult.
"MASKS"
An array of masks before me,
which one shall I choose?
To get through, yet, another day
what if I refuse?
I want to wear my own face,
but which is truly mine?
What if I wear the wrong one
and cross that fateful line?
Some are sad and lined with age,
still others wear much fear,
Who do they belong to
will it ever become clear?
Others are so child like
do they belong to me?
Will I ever find the right one
and feel that I am free.......
MElinda - grades 1 thru 6
"The truth about our childhood is stored up in our body and although we repress it, we can never alter it. Our intellect can be deceived, our feelings manipulated. our perceptions confused and our body tricked with medication. But someday the body will present its bill, for it is as incorruptible as a child who, still whole in spirit, will accept no compromises or excuses, and it will not stop tormenting us until we stop evading the truth".
