"BLESSED BE"

Hello my friends!

Double Rainbow, taken last night, after a severe thunder storm....so beautiful!

We are still in America, awaiting news of the Visa. Missing my friend more, as each day goes by. He will be visiting and meeting my family in just a few short weeks! Hopefully, I will have my Visa and can return with him to England.

Mixed feelings, as I visit with my family. Attempting to put aside old "hurts" and embrace my family and accept them for who they are, just as I wish to be accepted. Visiting my Sister today. Wish I could say things are better between us, but she is still very distant and does not appear to want a relationship with me. But I have finally accepted that and can live with it. She has handled the "abuse" in her own way and I must respect her decision.

It is not easy, spending so much time in this small town. All the memories, bad, mostly, creep up on me, at times, but I have learned to keep them at bay. I walk.... a lot....and that helps ease my mind. I miss the Sea and the peace it affords me. In my walks, I have revisited the Haunted House, with it's dark windows, which appear to watch me as I walk by. I can not say it is an easy task, walking past that evil house, but it is something I feel I must do. To avoid it, would mean (to me) that it and my abuser still have a hold on me...and I will not tolerate such a horrible thought! I focus on my future, with a joy I have never known before!

My Muse seems to have disappeared! I can no longer write poetry. Perhaps the poetry was a "gift" to help me recover and has now moved on to another in need. I will attempt to write a book, about my life, I may fail miserably, but it's just another "thing" I feel I must do.

To all of you, thank you for staying in touch with me! It means so much to hear from you. I apologize that I no longer post on your blogs. I feel just terrible about it, and I have no excuse...please forgive me.

Miss and love you all!

"The truth about our childhood is stored up in our body and although we repress it, we can never alter it. Our intellect can be deceived, our feelings manipulated. our perceptions confused and our body tricked with medication. But someday the body will present its bill, for it is as incorruptible as a child who, still whole in spirit, will accept no compromises or excuses, and it will not stop tormenting us until we stop evading the truth".

"HELLO AND GOODBYE"

<------ This is me, at my favorite place, looking out at the Sea.

I will be leaving England, the middle of this month. The past six months have been the best of my life! Oh, I am returning, of this I am certain. I have applied for a VISA, which will allow me an extended stay of possibly 2 years! This is my home, the place I have looked for all my life. I feel safe here, no monsters under the bed, no nightmares, no insomnia, just joy!

My friendship with P has flourished and I am enjoying great conversation, seeing films, learning about "English" football (it's still Soccer, if you ask me ;), even "trusting" again. I have always believed, things happen for a specific reason....even "bad" things. We each have our Life Path, and our Life Lesson to learn, along the way. My beliefs extend to "people" being brought into our lives, also for a specific purpose, some for a short period of time, some for all eternity. We learn from one another, by sharing experiences, making memories together and finding joy, once again, in our lives. P is that "person" in my life. I will be forever grateful for this friendship.

I have made other friends, as well. It will never cease to amaze me that the Universe brings together people who have shared some of the same experiences. In doing so, allows us to draw strength from these shared "issues". Suffice to say, we have formed a "Survivor's Group" and openly "share".

To all of you, I miss you, and you are always in my heart and my thoughts. If I could give you one gift, it would be that you also find the joy and peace I have at last found.

To Doc, who may not even visit here any longer, "we" are doing great! It's almost like a rebirth! I hope that you are well and enjoying life! I would love to stop by and see you when I return to America, but don't know if that is allowed. I will only be in your area for one day, then on to my family home in another state. Know that I think of you often, and miss you as my friend.

Well, friends, that is all for now. I will write again soon. Thanks to "my friend" for asking for another update....it means so much to me, to be loved and remembered.

Peace!

Sueann

"The truth about our childhood is stored up in our body and although we repress it, we can never alter it. Our intellect can be deceived, our feelings manipulated. our perceptions confused and our body tricked with medication. But someday the body will present its bill, for it is as incorruptible as a child who, still whole in spirit, will accept no compromises or excuses, and it will not stop tormenting us until we stop evading the truth".

"CHEERS MY FRIENDS!"

Hello, my friends! I have heard from several of you and I rejoice that you have not forgotten me! Know that I think of all of you with love each day.

I am still living in England. I will be returning to America in June, to take care of some personal agendas, then returning to England. I can not tell you how very beautiful it is here! I feel so "at Peace" within myself. I have finally found my place in this life.

I am not permitted to work here, as I am not a Citizen, so I am currently on the "call list" to do volunteer work, when needed. Littlehampton is a small town, on the Southern Coast of England. No traffic is permitted in the "Common Area", so shopping is wonderful.

I have been to so many historical areas, including London, where I attended a Peter Gabriel Concert. Although I WAS not familiar with his music, he was amazing! Next, I will see KISS, also in London, and then SANTANA (in London) in October! Music has always been such a huge part of my life and the opportunity to see some of the "greats" is such a gift.

My friend and I go on Mystery Trips (which means I am not told where I am going) nearly every weekend. The awesome history of this Country unfolds before me and just takes my breath away.

To all of you, please let me know how you are! I truly miss each and everyone of you!

My Love,

Sueann

"The truth about our childhood is stored up in our body and although we repress it, we can never alter it. Our intellect can be deceived, our feelings manipulated. our perceptions confused and our body tricked with medication. But someday the body will present its bill, for it is as incorruptible as a child who, still whole in spirit, will accept no compromises or excuses, and it will not stop tormenting us until we stop evading the truth".

YES, I AM ALIVE AND WELL!!!

Hi Everyone!

This is a picture of the shopping district in Brighton, England.

I arrived in England on December 18th. It is beautiful here! I live a mere 3 minute walk from the SEA (English Channel) and am enjoying the serenity it offers me. I walk every day, along the promenade by the Sea, joined by many local residents, who embrace their good fortune to live so near to such beauty.

I am in good health, both physically and emotionally. Everyone is still with me...and no one has acted "out" since arriving. I don't mean to imply we are not "out" because that would be lying....we are in and out. Susannah (me) is out most of the time, as she is handling this move to a new Country so very well. We are happy! Our Muse seems to have stayed in America, as our ability to write has left us, for the time being. Perhaps, the adjustment period will be over soon and "SHE" will return....we are hopeful, as our writing is paramount to us.

The divorce was final on December 8th, which would have been our 3rd Wedding Anniversary...which caused us much laughter...come on....it is funny. I just received word, that he is losing the house, which he so desperately wanted to keep. Thanks to my Attorney, I was completely relieved of any debt that may be associated with a future foreclosure. Right before my departure for England, I had to go to the house to remove all that was appointed to me in the divorce decree. He came out to tell me he loved me and wanted me to come back to him. I did not reply, but oh I wanted to!!!! I received a letter in the mail from the Judge who presided over my Criminal Charge, and am delighted to tell you, those charges are no longer on my record and the probation has been set aside as well. KARMA!!!!!! Yes, I endured some horrific trials and paid lots of money, convicted of a crime I did not commit, but KARMA has found retribution for me and I am at peace.

My only sadness is missing my family and my beloved dog, Scarlett. She is now 13 and is living, happily with my parents. I talked to her on the phone yesterday, and my Mum said she was licking the phone all the while I was talking to her. I will be going home in late Spring and can not wait to see her.

To Doc, whom I hope still, now and then checks to see if I have posted. Thank you, with all my heart, in pronouncing me sane (lol) which in turn allowed me to go through with my plan to move here to England. I have a postcard for you and will send it soon....promise! I miss you, as my friend, and hope to once again meet with you, as such. I hope that you are taking good care of yourself and that you have found your new puppy. I think of you often, of how much you helped me know all of "US". More importantly, the help you provided in guiding me in the acceptance, of who we are.

Steve, and all my friends, who once followed my Blog...I miss you and think of you often, as well. I hope that all of you are finding your peace and happiness. I can not promise to write here every day, but will keep you updated as to the turn our lives have taken. We love you and miss you.

US

"The truth about our childhood is stored up in our body and although we repress it, we can never alter it. Our intellect can be deceived, our feelings manipulated. our perceptions confused and our body tricked with medication. But someday the body will present its bill, for it is as incorruptible as a child who, still whole in spirit, will accept no compromises or excuses, and it will not stop tormenting us until we stop evading the truth".

"Update" LOL Steve!

Was planning to wait until the divorce is final before writing again..but "someone" has let us know he is concerned....thank you very much for caring....so this is where we are at this point.

Saw Doc on Monday, for the first time since all of this nightmare began. We were looking forward to seeing him, as we had missed him very much. The thing is, we were unable to "read" him, as we used to....we are at a loss as to what he believes about us. We told the story, we told the truth, but did he believe us? We have no idea. We understand, with our history of losing time, that there is a remote possibility, one of us could have hurt the asshole. But we have discussed this and NO WAY did we do anything to harm him. No, it was not a "we had to defend ourselves" situation either. We have come to accept that there are those that may never believe, will always have doubts about our guilt or innocence. That's okay, we know we did not hurt him....and that is what allows us to sleep at night....finally! We do hope he is NOT sleeping, that his guilt for destroying our spotless record, for upsetting our family and friends, for causing people to doubt us, will relentlessly bother him the rest of his hopefully unhappy miserable life! Do we wish him harm....no.....we just want his days and nights to be filled with remorse and unhappiness.

Divorce should be final by next week...or so we are told by Attorney. Once we have our maiden name back we can finally proceed with all the necessary changes and documents for our extended trip to England. We are very excited!
We have many other thing to do as well....sell the furniture awarded to us, go home for Thanksgiving to say goodbye to our family, and lots of other last minute details.

So there it is...our update.

Peace and Love to all!

"us"

The truth about our childhood is stored up in our body and although we repress it, we can never alter it. Our intellect can be deceived, our feelings manipulated. our perceptions confused and our body tricked with medication. But someday the body will present its bill, for it is as incorruptible as a child who, still whole in spirit, will accept no compromises or excuses, and it will not stop tormenting us until we stop evading the truth".

WHY, WHY WHY WHY WHY WHY WHY??????

Why do I never get a break? What the hell have I done so wrong in my life, that all of this crap is happening to me?

My sentence - 1 year probation (reporting probation), random drug and alcohol testing, oh, and at my own cost, must go back into counseling, oh, and again at my own cost, paid a fine of $700.00 and am not allowed in any bars. WTH? The Judge entered this sentence per the recommendation of the Probation Officer I interviewed with for exactly 30 minutes! Well, I spoke up! I told the Judge I have plans to move out of the Country, before the end of the year. He asked where was I moving to, told him, he said he has no problem with that.
But first I must get a Mental Health Assessment...wtf! I've been in counselling as my own choice for a long time. Then I must show a letter of Sponsorship from the person I will be living with in England, and they will either change my probation to a mail in..or possibly drop it. All of this...for what? I have never harmed anyone!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! So the lying creep gets away with everything! I hate him...with such an intense hatred it boggles my mind. He has caused me anguish, and also my family and friends. May he rot in hell!!!!

So folks that's it!

I will write again on the day my divorce is final so I may celebrate the occasion with all of you, who have supported me always. All of you are so awesome!

S

"The truth about our childhood is stored up in our body and although we repress it, we can never alter it. Our intellect can be deceived, our feelings manipulated. our perceptions confused and our body tricked with medication. But someday the body will present its bill, for it is as incorruptible as a child who, still whole in spirit, will accept no compromises or excuses, and it will not stop tormenting us until we stop evading the truth".

ALMOST AT AN END!

Hello everyone! Been long time since writing...so sorry...just so much going on.

Last week, was court for divorce and settlement of property. Husband made huge ass of himself, by saying unkind and untrue things about me in front of his Attorney and mine. I remained calm, when answering any insults he threw my way...that pissed him off! Will have my maiden name restored. Divorce should be final in less than 30 days! YAY!!!!

So furniture was divided. I do walk through house this coming Wednesday, and place sticky notes on my personal items. Have no idea when I can finally box things up and move them to storage...but hope very soon.

Today is my sentencing for Probation. Oh please do not give me probation!!!! I want to get out of this area as soon as I can. My Attorney thinks I will get a fine only...,but it is a crap shoot...so will let you know what happens.

Got to go..nearly time to leave for court.

Oh and Meri.....yes I know NF is just beautiful....but do you really want "stuck" with all of us? LOL!!! You are a sweetie!

Love to all...thank you so much for your support.

"us"

The truth about our childhood is stored up in our body and although we repress it, we can never alter it. Our intellect can be deceived, our feelings manipulated. our perceptions confused and our body tricked with medication. But someday the body will present its bill, for it is as incorruptible as a child who, still whole in spirit, will accept no compromises or excuses, and it will not stop tormenting us until we stop evading the truth".

"A New Plan"

Hi friends! we have missed all of you, and think of you every day............. please forgive us not posting...so much going on.

Scarlett now safely with parents....so sad to leave her, but had to. she was happy to be back with yus......will see her next month.

mother became very ill while we visit...back in hospital....with blood clot in lung. she better now and home. very scared...we were....very.

new plan for future....move to England. yep, never been there, always want to go there, have friend there...so why not go? Well would be 6 month Holiday...not move there....need to get away as soon as we know what will happen to us in court. next week on 29th is divorce hearing/trial. hv no idea how anything is going as attorney has not called me. then oct. 5th is probation sentencing. oh please, please do not give us probation!!!!!!!!!!!!! we did not hurt anyone...we want to leave country..........pleasssssssseeeeeeeeeeeeeeee.

still staying with friends. must move as soon as can. hate intruding on people...thaough they say not,. need owm place.

nothing more.

miss you!

rainbow ~~













"The truth about our childhood is stored up in our body and although we repress it, we can never alter it. Our intellect can be deceived, our feelings manipulated. our perceptions confused and our body tricked with medication. But someday the body will present its bill, for it is as incorruptible as a child who, still whole in spirit, will accept no compromises or excuses, and it will not stop tormenting us until we stop evading the truth".

"LONG PAST DUE UPDATE"

Hello friends - we apologize for being remiss in updating. So many things are happening we have just not gotten to write. we miss all of you so much! we appreciate your comments, prayers and word of encouragement so much!

we just completed our probation interview...which we found to be hysterical and humiliating. first....why must we have an interview for probation? it is not as if we are "APPLYING" for probation as one would a job or position. it's to be our punishment. we have been named the abuser, fraud gently, of course, but there is no way of changing that now. my friend, who was appointed to pick up our Scarlett from the VICTIM, so that we may see her, was assaulted by the VICTIM! yes...can you even believe he would do something so utterly lol unVICTIM like? My friend arrives to get Scarlett (on Scarlett's 13th birthday) to bring her to me. we had planned to take her down by the river and spend the entire day with her. we bought her a present and was so looking forward to the day. it was not meant to be. when my friend arrived, Scarlett was leashed and ready to go. then the VICTIM pushed a paper in her face....not a legal document, but something he had one of his friends type up, telling her she must sign it. the paper showed the time Scarlett was picked up and that she would be returned to him that evening. My friend, completely fed up with his bullshit, refused to sign it, stating it had not been a condition set by the judge. he told her she could not take Scarlett unless she signed it. She ignored him, bent down to pick up Scarlett and the VICTIM pushed her!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Then had the absolute nerve to yell out to the neighborhood......Did everyone see her push me? Well, my friend arrived, holding an empty leash, crying, shaking and so upset. we drove to the police station and she filed an incident report...just so it is on file and because the VICTIM is a complete ASS! he told her the papers he was having her sign were for the judge......so he could show the judge that I do not care about Scarlett because I have not had her picked up often. what he has apparently forgotten is....Scarlett is MY dog...brought into the sham of a marriage....and that he had a PPO against me, not allowing me to come within 150 feet of him. the judge would have laughed in his stupid face. so, my Sister and her husband are currently in town. On Monday, my Sister and her husband will pick up Scarlett...bring her to me and I will take her to live with my parents until this freakin divorce is over.

Next court hearing is for the divorce on September 29th. Upon the request of HIS Attorney (because apparently he is sick of dealing with the ass) my Attorney and I submitted a Divorce Proposal...and believe me...I asked for everything!!!! we are done being nice! we will post and let you know of the outcome.

we must sleep how...we love you....
"us"

"The truth about our childhood is stored up in our body and although we repress it, we can never alter it. Our intellect can be deceived, our feelings manipulated. our perceptions confused and our body tricked with medication. But someday the body will present its bill, for it is as incorruptible as a child who, still whole in spirit, will accept no compromises or excuses, and it will not stop tormenting us until we stop evading the truth".

These COULD be Funny...

the followinf are sime things going on inside our head, as different remarks where being made in court this past friday:

attirney: k you have multiple personalities?
us: ummm yes
attorney: but not like sybil
us: no, mire peeps than sybil and why not LIKE sybil
Attorney; well it's not like you hv different personalitirs
us: yes, different parts in side,,,different personalities, yes
Attorney: Oh...with strqANGE Look on her face
us: thinking...oh niw we r weird,,,and yiu dn;t like us
us: thinking,.,,,r you jewish? shuld we look at you strangely?
Attorney: well you dont do the things that sybil did...right\
us; we lose tijme, end ip places we not know how we getr there
Attorney: Oh,,,,,,,
us: it is called DID...and is complex coping nechanism for eaRLY severe child abuse,,,when chikd is yiung,]
Attorney; I see
us: oh yeah sure you see...no u don't see
us feel lost, no hope, weird, scarde.....and that all now


"The truth about our childhood is stored up in our body and although we repress it, we can never alter it. Our intellect can be deceived, our feelings manipulated. our perceptions confused and our body tricked with medication. But someday the body will present its bill, for it is as incorruptible as a child who, still whole in spirit, will accept no compromises or excuses, and it will not stop tormenting us until we stop evading the truth".

Well The News Is Not Good!

It's over...that is the good news.

We arrived to find a new Prosecuting Attorney. One unknown by my Attorney and one not familiar with my case. "He" was there with his female friend, someone he has known a long time. They sat in the front row, sneaking looks at me and laughing.

The court gave him 2 opportunities to drop the charges and he refused. So on the advice of my Attorney, I pled "no contest". We could have gone ahead and had the bench trial, but that is a crap shoot with an uncertain outcome. The way everything has been going his way, I made the decision to take the plea, knowing the outcome would be probation and a fine. I meet with the Probation Officer the first week in September for an Interview. Then the first week in October, I will go back to court and be sentenced, in essence be told how long my probation will last, what my fine will be and oh yeah....I have to attend Anger Management Classes, punishment for an act I did NOT committ. Well at least I don't have to wear an orange vest and pick up garbage on the streets.

I am sad and depressed. My Attorney is livid! She told me to roll up my sleeves, because we are going to have the ugliest divorce TRIAL...yes I said trial...that has yet to be seen. She called his Attorney yesterday and told him if her client (me) has to take a plea, he better be ready for an ugly divorce. So she is going after everything she can get. I am finished being nice. I am totally with her on this. If I just had the energy to get angry, it would help. I just feel helpless, depressed and sad. When I saw him in court today, I noticed he too has lost weight, he looks tired and worn out. When I said this to my friend and my Attorney, they were amazed that I could feel any empathy for him. I don't love him, I am not in love with him...but he is still a human being, a person. Yes, he has hurt me, and continues to hurt me and perhaps I sound ridiculous for feeling some sorrow for him..but hate will not change anything. I need some anger to get me going. But I don't even have that. Believe me, my family has enough and then some. My Brother wants to come out here and....well I don't exactly know what he wants to do..but something that would most likely put him in jail.

So there ya have it.

Love to all,
Sueann and "us"

"The truth about our childhood is stored up in our body and although we repress it, we can never alter it. Our intellect can be deceived, our feelings manipulated. our perceptions confused and our body tricked with medication. But someday the body will present its bill, for it is as incorruptible as a child who, still whole in spirit, will accept no compromises or excuses, and it will not stop tormenting us until we stop evading the truth".

Attorney/Prep and Court

Tomorrow we see our
Attorney, to prepare for the Criminal Trial on Friday.

Our Attorney called us today. She told us she has talked with opposing Counsel and has informed him that if "he" goes forth with the accusations, and I am either forced to go to trial, or forced to take a plea of "no contest", he had better be prepared for a very ugly divorce. Wow..we were impressed! Finally we feel someone is on our side and fighting for us. We are, naturally, having a lot of anxiety about appearing in court and having to testify. But the truth will win out...right????? We in no way harmed "him". "He" told our friend, whom we are staying with, that "he" loves Sueann and wants her back. HA!!!! Fat chance!

Well, thank you all again for your support and love and prayers. Hopefully, all will go well on Friday and we can get back to writing on a regular basis and visiting all of your blogs and getting caught up on your lives.

"us"

"The truth about our childhood is stored up in our body and although we repress it, we can never alter it. Our intellect can be deceived, our feelings manipulated. our perceptions confused and our body tricked with medication. But someday the body will present its bill, for it is as incorruptible as a child who, still whole in spirit, will accept no compromises or excuses, and it will not stop tormenting us until we stop evading the truth".

FAKE PEOPLE

Today was a day of revelations!

The friend, the one we trusted so easily and so deeply...is a FAKE! Yes, he used us to feed his already over-sized ego. What a freakin loser. So now we are filled with anger and have no where to direct it! So we walk....several walks a day. It helps, but we would just love to speak to him one more time and tell him exactly how we feel about his deceit. Do we have a sign on our person (s) that reads....all losers, liars and creeps follow us? Even though the anger is great, the sadness and the feeling of being "taken" once again remains. Life sometimes, just sucks, and there is nothing you can do about it. Well everyone would like to say a few choice words to this FAKE PERSON:

rainbow - well, you r mean an i dont like u anymire

Susannah - FREAK! What a waste of time being on the phone with you all hours of the day and night....call us again...and you will get an ear full from me!

Emma Grace+ May God have mercy on your deceitful soul and may you out run Susannah...Amen


MElinda - grades 1 thru 6 - i hv never liked or trusted men

Sueann - I am hurt and ashamed that I once again was fooled by someone I thought was trustworthy.

eight - faker

anger - don't think should say what thinking.... %$#@&%$

no one else has anything to say..............................

"The truth about our childhood is stored up in our body and although we repress it, we can never alter it. Our intellect can be deceived, our feelings manipulated. our perceptions confused and our body tricked with medication. But someday the body will present its bill, for it is as incorruptible as a child who, still whole in spirit, will accept no compromises or excuses, and it will not stop tormenting us until we stop evading the truth".

ALONE....AND LONELY

I miss my friend. I miss the laughter and joy he brought to my life. I miss the phone calls. He is gone, because of a misunderstanding. I have tried to resolve the situation, but he will not return my calls or Emails. Now I must find a way to "be" without him. The emptiness inside is more than painful, it is unbearable. He was a good friend. We formed a bond almost immediately. It takes so much for us to give our trust. We gave it to him, freely and without hesitation because both he and us felt a closeness, as if we had known each other all of our lives. So how does such a strong friendship just end so swiftly? This was not a romantic relationship....it was, well I thought it was, one of the best friendships I have ever experienced. As I said, I have tried to reach him, but I have given up. It seems everything I truly value in this life, is taken from me. No, I am not feeling sorry for us, but when does it stop? I don't know that I can take much more heart break.

My Criminal Trial is on Friday. I am nervous and scared. My Attorney seems to think I should take a plea of No Contest...which I do not understand why I should do that. Yes, it would all be over, I would not need to spend anymore money (which I don't have) going back and forth to court. But at the pre-trial, the Prosecuting Attorney and my Attorney both agreed, the charges were ridiculous and the police report was laughable. So why then, do I have to plead No Contest? I know that is not an admission of guilt..but damn it..I did not harm that man in any way! Oh and he is a real good actor in Court....that too is laughable. He is Mr. it'sallherfault in front of the Judge, but in the hall outside the Court Room, he is Mr. nice and passive....what a creep he is! What a FAKE! I dislike him intensely!!!!!

The family I am living with...well my friend was supposed to call him today to make arrangements to pick up Scarlett and more of my clothing, but she fell in the bathroom, injuring her arm and we were at the ER all day today. So I don't know if she will feel up to going over there. I pray she does, I miss my dog so much! I want to take her down by the river to the park and just hold her and love on her and play with her.

All for tonight. Again thanks to all of you for your support, prayers and love...you have no idea what that all means to us. We love you!

Sueann and "us"

"The truth about our childhood is stored up in our body and although we repress it, we can never alter it. Our intellect can be deceived, our feelings manipulated. our perceptions confused and our body tricked with medication. But someday the body will present its bill, for it is as incorruptible as a child who, still whole in spirit, will accept no compromises or excuses, and it will not stop tormenting us until we stop evading the truth".

AT ODDS WITH THE WORLD

Today, we are feeling at odds with everything. Nothing seems to fit. We have lost a very loved and good friend, because of circumstances beyond anyone's control, and this has put us into a sad and lonely place. Back to not sleeping or eating, we feel lost and empty inside. Nothing to fill that loss, that deep void. Have been walking several times a day, helps to think things through. But this situation, this loss, will not be eased by walking.

We will be seeing Scarlett, hopefully, on Sunday. We also need our clothes from the upstairs closet. My friend will go and get both for us. Scarlett will have to return to "him", of course, but only until the divorce is final...then she will be returned to me, where she belongs. We are so angry that "he" has kept her from us!

We long to have all of this behind us. We are still in a state of disbelief that "we" were arrested for, of all things, abusing someone. It is almost funny, when we think on it. We, who have never hurt another soul, who are actual survivors of physical abuse, now have a criminal record! Is this some kind of cosmic joke? We feel we have embarrassed our family, though much support is coming daily from all of them.

Lastly, we miss Doc! We hope that he still reads our posts, and that he knows we would be seeing him, if we had health insurance.

Thank you to everyone for your love, prayers and support. Without them, well...we would feel so much more alone. We love all of you!

Sueann for all of "Us"

"The truth about our childhood is stored up in our body and although we repress it, we can never alter it. Our intellect can be deceived, our feelings manipulated. our perceptions confused and our body tricked with medication. But someday the body will present its bill, for it is as incorruptible as a child who, still whole in spirit, will accept no compromises or excuses, and it will not stop tormenting us until we stop evading the truth".

DOING OK..............

we are doing pretty well....considering all that is going on. our trial date is August 21st. looks like we may be pleading "no contest" just to get it over with and not have to pay out additional monies to the Attorney. but actually, at pre-trial, the Prosecuting Attorney agreed with my Attorney, that this was bullshit and no charges should have ever been brought against me...so why the plea...we will ask our Attorney why.

on this past Friday at the PPO and Ex-Parte hearing...the PPO was dropped...and the Ex-Parte was modified, showing the house and all bills regarding the house go to him....which I could care less about the house. we had to agree, in order for him to get all of this. oh..and he was still wearing his wedding ring....it made us want to throw up. we now have visiting rights to see our dog...but my friend, whom we are living with, has to call him, and go pick up my dog and bring her over here. at first his Attorney said HE wanted to keep my dog...our Attorney went balistic and said no way...she said if I have to go to family court and sue for the dog...I will :) so he relented and said, yes it is her dog and belongs with her. oh he was being so passive, it was sickening. but...i have to tell you, i have lost quite a bit of weight and am short...and when we went before the Judge...she looked at me...then over at him...and said....now am I to believe SHE physically abused HIM???? also HIS Attorney, looked down at me and asked...are you HIS wife...when we said yes..he got this look of disbelief on his face.
thank you all for your thoughts, prayers, support and love. you have no idea how very much this all means to us. we love all of you so very much and miss you. forgive us for not visiting your blogs at this time....there is just so much going on.

love to all,
"us"

"The truth about our childhood is stored up in our body and although we repress it, we can never alter it. Our intellect can be deceived, our feelings manipulated. our perceptions confused and our body tricked with medication. But someday the body will present its bill, for it is as incorruptible as a child who, still whole in spirit, will accept no compromises or excuses, and it will not stop tormenting us until we stop evading the truth".

We OK

just a quick note to say...we are doing ok. court this coming Friday to put aside the Protection order against me and to negate my payment of any bills incurred by "him" at the house. August 21st will be the Bench Trial.

once the protection order is put aside (hopefully) we can see our Scarlett...
once the
Bench Trial is over...if we are permitted to leave the state, we will get Scarlett and take her to Mother's, until we are ready to move to Texas.

we are fighting the HATE we feel for "him". as each day passes, it becomes harder and harder not to hate. we know hate will make us ill.

Thank you all, our dear friends, for you comments, your prayers and your concern. We love you!

"us"


"The truth about our childhood is stored up in our body and although we repress it, we can never alter it. Our intellect can be deceived, our feelings manipulated. our perceptions confused and our body tricked with medication. But someday the body will present its bill, for it is as incorruptible as a child who, still whole in spirit, will accept no compromises or excuses, and it will not stop tormenting us until we stop evading the truth".

ummm wrong thing.....

we must hv led people to the wrong ummm thing...cuz...the charges r not dismised...yet...we hv bench trial on August 21...then we see what happens. we do ok. sometimes we cry...but we laugh a lot more now to...we go walking outside in fresh air...we miss our doggie so much. want to thank everyone for prayers and writing here...we hv so many friends...we love you. that's all...nite.....

"The truth about our childhood is stored up in our body and although we repress it, we can never alter it. Our intellect can be deceived, our feelings manipulated. our perceptions confused and our body tricked with medication. But someday the body will present its bill, for it is as incorruptible as a child who, still whole in spirit, will accept no compromises or excuses, and it will not stop tormenting us until we stop evading the truth".

"First Hearing and Results"

Hi everyone! The pre-trial hearing was last Friday. "he" was not there...thank goodness. My Attorney met with the Prosecuting Attorney, while I waited in the court room. When she came out, she was smiling....so I finally started breathing again. She told me the Prosecuting Attorney said charges should not have been brought against me and I should not have been arrested...he added....this is "Bullshit"! However, since I have been charged, we must have a Bench Trial, in which the Prosecuting Attorney will present the evidence (oh yeah...no photos of the alleged scratches...isn't that convenient?), which consists of 2 small paragraphs. Then my Attorney will present my case of innocence and the Judge will decided my punishment. I could get probation and/or a fine, or the charges could be dismissed without any restrictions. If I get probation, then I will have to ask the Judge for permission to move to Texas. Also, if "he" was unable to get the house refinanced and my name taken off...we will have to have the house appraised and sold immediately......or just let it go into foreclosure. I prefer the latter, because right now, it could not be sold for what we owe...and that would mean the debt would be divided between us. The Bench Trial is set for August 21st.

I have 2 hearings set for August 7th. One to set aside the Protection Order and the other is to terminate my obligation to pay any part of the mortgage and household bills, since I am no longer living there....and I can not afford to do so.

I miss my Scarlett so very much. Once the Protection Order is set aside, I can go to see her, but I have asked my Attorney to petition the court to not allow "him" to be at the house when I go to see Scarlett and start packing my personal belongings. I will be unable to provide a place for Scarlett to live until I am ready to move to Texas....which causes me to feel so sad. My Mother said she would keep her for me until I am ready to move. If I can manage to get her to my Mom's, that is exactly what I will do!

So, know that I am "safe". Know that I appreciate all the prayers and well wishes from all of you!

Sueann..


"The truth about our childhood is stored up in our body and although we repress it, we can never alter it. Our intellect can be deceived, our feelings manipulated. our perceptions confused and our body tricked with medication. But someday the body will present its bill, for it is as incorruptible as a child who, still whole in spirit, will accept no compromises or excuses, and it will not stop tormenting unless we stop evading the truth".

"NOT BELIEVED........ONCE AGAIN"

we decided the best thing to do is to tell what happened....not telling is just another secret, at a different time in our life...but a secret, just the same.

the first sunday of this month, we were taken to jail, for alledgedly attacking and abusing the "man that lives in our house". we had gone to the computer to pay bills on-line and learned he had taken a large sum of money out of our checking account, leaving next to nothin to pay the bills. when questioned why he would do such a thing, he answered that he wanted to buy a computer so he could "keep track of things". we became upset, stating that now there was no money to pay the bills. he began mocking us, repeating everything we said. inside everyone was fearful of him. he said he would never give us a divorce and that we would never leave the state. he also said we belonged in a hospital.....now tht scared us. we called the police. while we were on the phone with the police, he heard us, and he also called the police. when they arrived, i told the officer we were afraid of him, because we did not know him and did not know what he may do to us. 2 other officers took him out of the house into the back yard. when one of those officers returned, he said the "man's" story was completely different from ours. the man said we assaulted him and that he had scratches on his arm. they then put me in handcuffs. we kept saying over and over we did not do anything to him. they did not believe us! they would not let us say anything! they threw us in the police car and took us to jail...it was so horrible. we spent 3 days in a small space, having the same 2 meals a day, which we could not eat, because we gagged. we cried all the time. we ask for our medication, we finally got them on the 2nd day. they took our shoes away from us, we could not wash. we were scared. finally rocking girl, sat with us all night, every night and just rocked. everyone who had come in after us, were taken before the judge, but not us.....we kept asking why....they would not tell us anything. we had no one to call, we could not remember anyone's number but our sister and our parents. on the 2nd day we called our sister and told her what happened. then we learned our mother had been taken to the hospital in an abulance and was very ill. our sister asked if we wanted her and brother to come to us. we did not want to make problems for them..we said we don't know. so sister and brother left at 430 in the morning on the 3rd day of jail. they drove 6 hours to come to us. they were there when we finally saw the judge and was released.
that is what happened to us. now we are charged with domestic assault and we have to go this coming friday back to court. we got attorney, and she is great and feels the charges will be dropped. we are still having nightmares, we can not sleep through the night. we keep remembering that no one would let us talk, no one wouled believe us, just as always....we did NOT hurt him....we would never hurt anyone....why won't anyone believe us????????

we miss our dog so much. the "man" has her, along with all of our stuff. we have some clothes but we need our dog and our stuff. the "man" was not who we thought he was, he is a bad, bad person, who lies. he filed for the divorce while we were in jail. he filed an order that does not allow us near him, our home or our dog. we did feel sorry for him, but now we don't. we cry all the time...like we are doing at this moment. we stay with friends, good friends we have known long time. we feel "safe" but scared all the time. if you pray, please add us.

"us"










"The truth about our childhood is stored up in our body and although we repress it, we can never alter it. Our intellect can be deceived, our feelings manipulated. our perceptions confused and our body tricked with medication. But someday the body will present its bill, for it is as incorruptible as a child who, still whole in spirit, will accept no compromises or excuses, and it will not stop tormenting us until we stop evading the truth".