Home from "T". Do we have any answers....maybe. We did not do much talking today, no one seemed to have anything to say. We did learn that keeping memories bottled up and not dealing with them can cause physical illness, such as the horrible headaches we have been having. But then again, if no one wants to speak, there is nothing that can be done. Even Doc suggested we may need a break from the emotional pain of trying so hard to remember. We also spoke of possibly using anti-depressants to reduce the depression. However, these medications are not used to treat DID. Personally, we do not like taking them. We feel as if they are a "false" sense of euphoria in a bottle. We don't feel as if we are in crisis so have made the decision to go on without the medications. We must find a way to agree to talk in "T". It's useless to go there and sit and not talk about our issues. Plus, Doc must feel terribly uncomfortable, with us just staring off into space. He even brought cookies today for us...but we did not take any. We were not allowed to have sweets at the Haunted House.....only one day a week, on Saturdays. We truly cherish our Doc...he is one of a kind.
We are feeling very tired and need to lie down for a while.
"us"
"The truth about our childhood is stored up in our body and although we repress it, we can never alter it. Our intellect can be deceived, our feelings manipulated. our perceptions confused and our body tricked with medication. But someday the body will present its bill, for it is as incorruptible as a child who, still whole in spirit, will accept no compromises or excuses, and it will not stop tormenting us until we stop evading the truth".
Miller, 1986
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15 years ago
6 comments:
maybe you are taking a break when you don't feel like talking. i'm glad your therapist agrees that breaks are important. i think it's great to rest when you need to rest. we all need rest. safe hugs~
It is evenng, and I have left from this day no questions nor answers, for me or anyone. Just a realization that sobriety is number ONE for me. All else is dependent on, and falls under that heading...or there is NO "all else".
Wondering if some of the alters pray? Do you all know I pray for you all? If you pray for me, we'll have a discourse going, such as, "Dear God Who made us ALL...take care of each of us, and ALL of us, and our friends here. And our friends there. And grant us PEACE!
Love you all, hope to visit again soon. --Steve
All is as it should be in this moment in time.
If silence is what you all need, then thank God you have a doctor who just sits with you in the silence.
I learned in my short training session before beginning to provide pastoral care assistance in our hospital that one of the three ministries involved in visiting patients was the "ministry of presence" - just being fully present and available to the person. Sounds like that's what you got.
That's a beautiful gift of love. I'm glad you are being given the opportunity to have that kind of love surround you now.
Prayer Girl
Glad to hear that you'all like the doc.
I feel the same way you do about meds. Perhaps the main issue for me is the feeling that if I medicate the emotional pain, I may stop working on healing it for real. And I want to be well for the right reasons, not artificially.
I think that when I was a Christian prayer and the God belief worked like the meds. It gave me the placebo effect of feeling better, but it didn't move me along the path of healing at all.
Hi all there!
I hope your break will give peaceful moments so it will be possible to start T again when you are 'ready'.
Blessings and safe hugs,
Barbra
thank you all for you loving support! we don't know what would we do without your feedback and your love. we love all of you......
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