"America United" - Freedom is not Free!

"I was once asked why I don't participate in anti-war demonstrations. I said that I will never do that, but as soon as you have a pro-peace rally, I'll be there."

Mother Teresa

"I believe all suffering is caused by ignorance. People inflict pain on others in the selfish pursuit of their happiness or satisfaction. Yet true happiness comes from a sense of peace and contentment, which in turn must be achieved through the cultivation of altruism, of love and compassion, and elimination of ignorance, selfishness, and greed."Dalai Lama"I believe all suffering is caused by ignorance. People inflict pain on others in the selfish pursuit of their happiness or satisfaction. Yet true happiness comes from a sense of peace and contentment, which in turn must be achieved through the cultivation of altruism, of love and compassion, and elimination of ignorance, selfishness, and greed."

Dalai Lama

The War in Iraq Costs
$603,819,805,508 and still rising!

END THE WAR, REDUCE THE RECESSION AND FEED THE ECONOMY!!!

PEACE!

"Grieving the Loss of a Child"

Today is my son's Birthday.

There will be no Birthday Party with a cake, candles and balloons. Ryan is in heaven with God.

The loss of a child is devastating. The pain never goes away, no matter how many years go by. He is the only child I ever had or will ever have. Along with the pain, I convinced myself it was my fault. I had been abused as a child. The statistics blatantly reveal, abused children have a higher instance of becoming abusers. I honestly believed for many years, that is why Ryan was taken from me....to protect him. I've come to realize, through therapy, there is no potential in me to abuse a child. I can say, with all honesty, I have never even hit a child. I treat all children with respect and love, the way they deserve to be treated. The following is my Birthday Present to my son, Ryan Christopher.

"Was He Really Here"

I see you in the shadows of my mind,
I hear you in the soft breeze of a summer's day.

I feel you in that special place in my heart,
I know that you are with me.

You brought me joy, more than I have ever known,
If even for a short time, it was breath-taking.

Your smile, so sweet and innocent,
I will remember for all time.

Happy Birthday, my sweet Angel,
Mommy's love for you is for all eternity.

Mommy~~~~

"The truth about our childhood is stored up in our body and although we repress it, we can never alter it. Our intellect can be deceived, our feelings manipulated. our perceptions confused and our body tricked with medication. But someday the body will present its bill, for it is as incorruptible as a child who, still whole in spirit, will accept no compromises or excuses, and it will not stop tormenting us until we stop evading the truth".

"What Are The Odds?"

What are the odds of becoming a Child Abuse statistic? How many Adult Survivors of Child Abuse do you personally know?
<-------Right here are the odds of becoming a victim of Child Abuse. Of course there is Child Abuse after the age of 4!

Let's narrow it down some.

Child sexual abuse has been reported up to 80,000 times a year, but the number of unreported instances is far greater, because the children are afraid to tell anyone what has happened, and the legal procedure for validating an episode is difficult.

I am an Adult Survivor of Physical/Emotional and Sexual Abuse and Neglect. As an adult and a Survivor, I have to wonder....well, why? Why did I survive and so many children did not? Luck? Fate? I wish I had the answer. There were times, and still are, I thought I would die....wanted to die. But I survived. There is no such thing as mild abuse....abuse is abuse!

I know my life's mission is to bring greater awareness, and by that I don't just mean, oh look everyone, Child Abuse is alive and it is killing our children. My mission goes further than making people aware of statistics. I want people to be ever vigil of your children and the children of every one you know or see. In a Supermarket, watch for child abuse, in Malls, everywhere, even in Churches. It is an ever spreading disease. Report suspected child abuse, just as you would any other life threatening disease! The devastating long term effects of child abuse can be debilitating! There is chronic depression, agoraphobia, dissociative identity disorder, panic/anxiety disorder, trust issues, physical ailments, obsessive compulsive disorder, so many I can not possibly list them all here. I am asking you to watch, listen and if you suspect abuse...REPORT IT! Get involved!

There was an Aunt in my family, who suspected I was being sexually abused by the"Dad". I learned this from my cousins, as adults. My Aunt told no one! My Grandmother, mother to the "Dad", knew for an absolute certainty what her son was doing to his daughter. My Grandmother told no one! What the hell is wrong with people???? These are innocent children being hurt and killed. I just can not understand! Come on people! Do your part to save a child!!

I am hosting an event, through BloggersUnite (http:/www.BloggersUnite.org) on April 4th. The event is entitled "Child Abuse Awareness Month". Please take the time and come join this important event. I will be adding this event on FaceBook as well. I will be posting, Teddy Bears here on my Blog. You can come by and right click and save and then display it in your Blog that day, or use it as your Profile in FaceBook on April 4th. This event is extremely important to me and my friends joining in, is just as important. Think about it, it's one day, one post if you are a Blogger, and a one day change to your profile on FaceBook. Do it for the children!

Sarah~~~

Never miss the opportunity to Hug a Child!

"The truth about our childhood is stored up in our body and although we repress it, we can never alter it. Our intellect can be deceived, our feelings manipulated. our perceptions confused and our body tricked with medication. But someday the body will present its bill, for it is as incorruptible as a child who, still whole in spirit, will accept no compromises or excuses, and it will not stop tormenting us until we stop evading the truth".

"Shatter the Silence" - Yell and Tell!

"ESSENCE"

It surrounded him,
it was his Essence.

He brought it with him
and it remained after he was gone.

When his scent, his smell
would reach me,

Fear, lying deep inside me,
awakened. And my small child body
Trembled.

The smell becomes stronger,
as his hands begin to stroke,
his fingers invade.

I am afraid and I am not.
This is only a "GAME".

He will win the "GAME"
and he will smile.

The smell is more intense,
It is on my hand...he told me to touch him.

The scent is all over me.
I feel ashamed. No one must see me.

He is above me. The scent is over-powering.
I feel held down, my breath is gone....

I want to scream! If I dare scream,
The smell will flow into my mouth and kill me.

The Folding begins.
I am pulled gently down and inward.

I am very, very small.
A tiny dot of light.

I am warm.
I am being held and protected.

I will leave my fear and rage here.
I will leave my silent screams here.

One day, my rage will be rampant
My screams will be deafening.

He is gone.
I must now go back.

I now see that I am alone here.
There is no one holding me.

There is no one here but me....
Holding me.

Rainbow~~~~~~~


Please! Shatter the Silence of Child Sexual Abuse - YELL AND TELL!!!!!

"The truth about our childhood is stored up in our body and although we repress it, we can never alter it. Our intellect can be deceived, our feelings manipulated. our perceptions confused and our body tricked with medication. But someday the body will present its bill, for it is as incorruptible as a child who, still whole in spirit, will accept no compromises or excuses, and it will not stop tormenting us until we stop evading the truth".

"Susannah Writes" - "Our" Dear Friend

So how was your day? Thanking you for asking. It started out rather nicely with RAIN hitting against the roof and the windows. Our Puppy was happy to see "us" after a long night's sleep. She's actually 12 years old, but to "us" she is still "our" Puppy. Into the den, "we" came, to check "our" Email. That's when it happened....all HELL broke loose!

Peace to everyone. I, Susannah, am writing this Post tonight, because "everyone" else is in hiding. "They" are frightened and are feeling used and exploited. So you are stuck with me!

A person ripped "us" off today! Yep, took the words right out of one the posts from this Blog. In all fairness, it was probably not done in a malicious manner. However, this Blog is the story of "our" lives and the words written are not meant to be used in an other's Blog. Well there was a huge over-reaction and this Blog, that was to be a safe haven in which to write "our" thoughts, was almost deleted....by, well "one"of us. Thank God for a wonderful friend of "ours", who shall remain anonymous, we found protection (which is something "we" are not used to having) for our Blog. "Our" friend , and you know who you are, is kind and generous and sweet and loving and puts up with "us", gives "us" support and direction when "we" need it...like today. So dear Friend...thank you from all of "us" and know how much your being there is so special to "us". Peace to you sweetie.

Susannah~~~~

"The truth about our childhood is stored up in our body and although we repress it, we can never alter it. Our intellect can be deceived, our feelings manipulated. our perceptions confused and our body tricked with medication. But someday the body will present its bill, for it is as incorruptible as a child who, still whole in spirit, will accept no compromises or excuses, and it will not stop tormenting us until we stop evading the truth".

It Really Ticks Me Off!

When abuse begins early in childhood, the child's oneness of Spirit is broken. The child no longer has imagination, trust, innocence and it distorts and changes decision making for a life time.

It really ticks me off!~ Our relationships have never worked! Making decisions involve so many different voices, it becomes just about impossible to come to a consensus, and usually, the decision finally decided upon is the wrong one. Nothing seems to work to our advantage....ever! Our main goal in life was to survive. Our path in life was broken, into many pieces. Just as a mirror shatters when battered repeatedly, so did our purpose in life.

If we had not been abused....what would we have been? What accomplishments in life could we have seen? What beneficial changes could we have made in this troubled world? You are most likely thinking.....well you were abused and that is one thing you can not go back and erase. No, we can not change the past. We can move forward, we can heal and mend our broken life. Yes, It really ticks me off, but it is what it is.

We do agree that out of all the bad events, our Poetry emerged and we are grateful!

We are sharing one of our Poems with you. This was written, during a manic phase of writing, author.....unknown.

"LIFE AT THE AGE OF SEVEN"

Hopscotch and jump rope,
Sharing secrets with a best friend.

Nightmares, terror in the night,
Silent screams clutch at the soul.

Popcorn and P.J. parties, giggling,
Knowing the true joy in life.

Incredible sadness, being alone,
So confused about what is real.

Reaching out with trust,
Being touched and feeling love.

Deep hate brings trembling,
It swells, pressure from within.

Creative, aware of one's uniqueness,
A tiny bud, impatient to bloom.

Loss of imagination, a world
Of make believe.

Old before one's time,
No longer innocent.

Happiness, excitement, joy, anticipation,
A love of life...contentment.

Death, pain, betrayal, fear, no feelings,
Blank, away and numb.

Hope, choices, laughter, self-love,
Feeling free and owning spirit.

A lost soul, hopeless and trapped,
A child no more....alone in the rain.

"Us"~~~~~


"The truth about our childhood is stored up in our body and although we repress it, we can never alter it. Our intellect can be deceived, our feelings manipulated. our perceptions confused and our body tricked with medication. But someday the body will present its bill, for it is as incorruptible as a child who, still whole in spirit, will accept no compromises or excuses, and it will not stop tormenting us until we stop evading the truth".

"Agoraphobia" - Living in a Fish Bowl

Definition: The word agoraphobia is derived from Greek words literally meaning "fear of the marketplace." The term is used to describe an irrational and often disabling fear of being out in public.

Agoraphobia is best understood as an adverse behavioral outcome of repeated panic attacks and subsequent anxiety and preoccupation with these attacks that leads to an avoidance of situations where a panic attack could occur.

Strange, now that I look back, I remember my first personal "meeting" with Agoraphobia. I was in grade school. Being a Catholic, required leaving school every Thursday afternoon and attending Catechism. On one of these afternoons, the girl, standing beside me, fainted. In my child's mind, I thought she was dead. In complete terror, I ran from the Church, directly to the "Haunted House". Rationally, I knew I would not find comfort or understanding there, but I had no were else to go.

From that point on, lasting for several months, it was a fight every Sunday. I refused to go to Church. I was punished repeatedly. The beatings, the screaming and yelling did nothing to calm my extreme fear! "What was I afraid of", "Did I realize God would send me directly to Hell", "You are nothing but a stupid brat" were the ways in which my family dealt with my all consuming fear. I dealt with my fear in a completely different way....I dissociated. I blocked out the rantings, the beatings, all I wanted and needed was understanding and comfort. Someone to tell me what I was experiencing was okay, that it would pass.

Today, I leave my home only when absolutely necessary. I see my Doc once a week. I run errands only when my Husband can not. I do not visit friends. I do not socialize. I stay hidden away in my home. I dread the Spring and Summer that is eminent. There will be yard work and summer get togethers with friends. My Grandson's baseball games. The fear that I experienced long ago, engulfs my very soul, just thinking about all of these things, which require leaving my home. I don't want this. I want to be outgoing and create new memories with my family and friends. I don't want to live in a Fish Bowl the rest of my life!

The Doc and all of "us" are working on this in my sessions. I pray we find the answer, and a solution, that will allow me, once again, to enjoy life, family and friends.

Rainbow~~~

Pray for the many trapped in their lives by this disabling phobia!


"The truth about our childhood is stored up in our body and although we repress it, we can never alter it. Our intellect can be deceived, our feelings manipulated. our perceptions confused and our body tricked with medication. But someday the body will present its bill, for it is as incorruptible as a child who, still whole in spirit, will accept no compromises or excuses, and it will not stop tormenting us until we stop evading the truth".